July was a whirlwind of emotions... extreme joy to FINALLY hug my dear friend from college during the hardest months of his life, as well as extreme sadness as I sat in the very same spot in the park where I danced with his wife and my dear friend from high school but this time, just over 20 years later, we were there for her memorial. It was a surreal reminder of how we truly have no idea what life is going to bring or just where it will lead us.
My emotions came from so many angles... I watched as one of their daughters climbed up onto Brandon’s lap and buried her head in his shoulder as they were playing a video of Rachel. My heart deeply ached for her as their children are the very same age my sister and I were when we lost our mom. I just wanted to hold her in that moment... I see you baby girl. I had a pit in my stomach thinking about the fact that my husband is just halfway through his preventative cancer treatments and although things are looking up, I know that they can change so very quickly. I felt a heavy sorrow for the fact that such a bright light is no longer here on Earth with us and her sweet family is having to learn to live without her. It’s all so gut-wrenching to sit and allow yourself to feel that pain for all involved but the closure was so beautiful to watch. I didn’t need a reminder of how wonderful Rachel is as a person. She’s the kind that sticks with you. Her smile, her hugs, her positivity, her laugh, the way she danced (my how she could dance!) and the way she allowed the child within her to beam out at all times! It all sticks with you. It’s impossible for it not to... she was just that way. Her energy was just that unforgettable!
What I DID need a reminder of was to let that child inside of you out more often. Be more present and truly play more with your kids. Hug everyone much more and don’t be afraid to love on people the way you really want to love on them! Be yourself to the absolute core of your being. Have fun in everything you do! She was a reminder to live out our faith and spirituality more authentically without reservation. All of the stories of Rachel that were so eloquently spoken by her father, best friend and pastor were reminders of all of these things and much more. The biggest thing that Rachel taught the big crowd there to honor her yesterday was that fear is no match for God and I walked away in total awe yet again of how unwavering Rachel’s faith was through it all, right down to the very end. THAT was the most inspiring reminder of them all. Rachie - I love you so much, my little bebe!! Until we dance again... 💕